55 Ways to get Rid of your Blind Date

i was checking out ade's blog went i came across this.. its kinda ridiculous and quite embarrassing. but who knows? it might actually works!

Blind Date:

55 Ways to get Rid of your Blind Date

1. At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. (lol.. this is tryable, unless the waiter is totaly cute, which is of course, a totally different matter..)

2. Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table. (um.. how about i ask my date to collect it for me, and then stack it up in a tower?)

3. Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice. (ewww? who knows where he's been earlier... totally unhygienic!)

4. Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. (it's not nice to annoy other innocent ppl..)

5. Repeat every third third word you say say. (this might be fun =D!)

6. Give your claim to fame as being voted "Most Festerous" for your high school yearbook. (no comments)

7. Read a newspaper or book during the meal. Ignore your date. (rude, but it might just work.. unless he's doing the same thing of course..)

8. Stare at your date's neck, and grind your teeth audibly. (not a good idea.. what if he's some sort of perv??!)

9. Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what they are talking about. (haha.. i'm not a good actress, but maybe u can pull it off xP)

10. Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds. (wheeeeee.........)

11. Order a bucket of lard. (order only right? it doesn't mean i have to *ugh* eat it rite??)

12. Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This works very well in fancier venues that use linen tablecloths. (omg.. i did this before *blush*... in KFC... and Pizza Hut...)

13. Howl and whistle at womens' legs, especially if you are female. (i prefer to admire my own xP)

14. Recite your dating history. Improvise. Include pets. (rite... like they'll believe..)

15. Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins talking about themselves. (can i bring a cd player instead? i can't play the harmonica...)

16. Sacrifice french fries to the great deity, Pomme. (heee~~ i wanna try this! =D)

17. When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food. (err.. what if they really do? i mean.. for example, a seafood restaurant?)

18. Without asking, eat off your date's plate. Eat more from their plate than they do. (lol.. some ppl might not mind.. they'll just call u chubby -.-" right jun?)

19. Drool. (lol.. what if it turns romantic? *shudders* use ur imagination ppl..)

20. Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs. (hmmm.. this is so not me.. but it might work.. in the case of guys, spit saliva instead.. should be enough to disgust the girl =P)

21. Eat everything on your plate within 30 seconds of it being placed in front of you. (um... dangerous.. plus you'll probably get indigestion)

22. Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask him/her "What in the hell took you so long in the restroom?!?" (it'll work.. if you don't mind making a scene...)

23. Recite graphic limericks to the people at the table next to you. (if they know you, why not? =D)

24. Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates. (errr.... dumb thing to do.. especially since malaysians really treasure their food)

25. Beg your date to tattoo your name on their derriere. Keep bringing the subject up. (lol... i don't know.. u try it and tell me if it works..)

26. Ask your date how much money they have with them. (its a very common question.. at least for me xP)

27. Order for your date. Order something nasty. (hehe.. try squid ink.. )

28. Communicate in mime the entire evening. (yeah.. mime puking.. )

29. Upon entering the restaurant, ask for a seat away from the windows, where you have a you have a good view of all exits, and where you can keep your back to the wall. Act nervous. (lol.. might work for a guy but not for a girl. cz the the guy might decide to act macho.. and decide to 'protect' you)

30. Lick your plate. Offer to lick theirs. (erm, riiittteee.......)

31. Hum. Loudly. In monotone. (err.. i did that before a few times.. haha.. on accident.. whats wrong with doing this anyway?!)

32. Fill your pockets with sugar packets, as well as salt and pepper shakers, silverware, floral arrangements... i.e anything on the table that isn't bolted down. (right. and get accused of shoplifting.. right.. do it at your own risk!)

33. Hold a debate. Take both sides. (oh..i do this all the time too! and yes, i can talk to myself... )

34. Undress your date verbally. Use a bullhorn. (do practise this skill before applying it.. it might turn your date on, which kinda isn't the point right?)

35. Auction your date off for silverware. (lol.. this might turn interesting..)

36. Slide under the table. Take your plate with you. (no comments)

37. Order a baked potato for a side dish. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato you "never got". When the waiter returns with another potato for you, have the first one back up on the plate. Repeat later in the meal. (be careful, the waiter might spit in your drink!)

38. Order beef tongue. Make lewd comparisons or comments. (...)

39. Get your date drunk. Talk about their philosophy. Get it on tape, and use good judgement in editing to twist their words around. (if he/she's drunk, send him/her home and run! are you planning to see them again?!)

40. Discuss boils and lesions, as if from personal experience. (no comments.. go ahead if you know about the topic)

41. Speak in pig latin throughout the meal (Or ubber-dubber language, or just nonsense). (this might work if you're creative enough.. its not as easy as it sounds)

42. Take a break, and go into the restroom. When you return to the table, throw a spare pair of underwear on the back of one of the chairs. Insist that they just need airing out. (gosh... *i'm speechless*)

43. If they are paying, order the most expensive thing on the menu. Take one bite. (i hate wasting food and if they're smart, they finish it for me =P but guys, becareful.. you hv a higher risk of this happening)

44. Bring 20 or so candles you, and during the meal get up and arrange them around the table in a circle. Chant. (too troublesome.. unless they're those small pink candles u use for birthday cakes..)

45. Save the bones from your meal, and explain that you're taking them home to your invalid, senile old mother, because it's a lot cheaper than actually feeding her. (no comments)

46. Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt. (messy, but it might be fun! you try it and tell me k? =D)

47. Take a thermos along, and hide it under the table. Order coffee, and fill the thermos one cup at a time, taking advantage of the free refills. (erm.. )

48. Insist that the waiter cuts your food into little pieces. In a simliar vein, insist that he take a bite of everything on the plate, to make sure no one poisoned it. (might take some time.. make sure you aren't hungry before trying this)

49. Accuse your date of espionage. (i did before xP of course i wasn't serious la.. )

50. Make odd allusions to dangerous religious cults. (do this at your own risk.. hopefully there are no government officials around. this is a serious issue nowadays)

51. Don't use any verbs during the entire meal. (too difficult - unless you don't speak english/ has no idea what a verb is)

52. Pass the hat in the restaurant. Use the proceeds (if any) to pay the bill. (knowing malaysians, someone will probably take the hat)

53. Break wind loudly. Add color commentary. Bow. (oh.. lol.. nothing to say abt this..)

54. Feed imaginary friends, or toy dolls you've brought along. (haha.. tryable)

55. Bring a bucket along. Explain that you frequently get ill. (its a blind date.. what if he's actually cute and sweet??!)