delirium

Commitment. Pressure. Frustration. Dissappointment.

Commitment.

A voice rings out. Confident, self assured.

Doubtful stares. "Ah, an unknown..." they say.

"Let her try" someone whispers. Assent.

Pressure.

They give. They take. No questions.

Pushed aside. A puppet.

"Do something!" they say.

Frustration.

They take. They divide.

Protestations ignored.

"You are alone" they warned. Silence.

Disappointment.

Pushed aside. Worthless.

We do not care.

Behind the scenes. Seldom appreciated.

Pressure. Frustration.

Deja-vu.

Is madness visiting once again?

An old acquintance. A memory.

Experiences of previous years. Hunts.

Falling outs. Misunderstandings.

They say life is full of challenges.

Testing one's endurance, strength, faith.

"Never lose faith" whispers the heart.

Just to be happy. Contentment.

Home. College. Friends.

Threefold pressure descends.

Threatening. Suffocating.

Resolve unlocked.

A refusal to give in.

Trust.

So valuable. So fragile.

Taken, like a knife that slices.

Decision.

Impetuous, uncaring.

A shield. Shredded.

-Non to turn to.-

-Non who understand.-

-Non that can share.-

-Non that care.-

She smiles sadly.

A new year. A new beginning.

Life is BS.

I just want to be happy. Is that so bad?

I want to cry. Over and over.

Releasing frustrations, anger, dissappointment.

Breaking down the wall of self preservation.

Where are you when i need you?

Letting myself go.

Breaking down barriers i built.

Seems an impossibility.

Help me cry. Please.