Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I dare you to stop me!

Have you ever thought about what life is all about? Especially those times when you're emo-ing and you lie on your bed staring at the blank boring ceiling, thinking about whatever it is that bugs you and feeling oh-so-sorry for yourself?

I always hear about all these people, leaving on 'great adventures' or 'meditation periods' to 'search for who they are'. Damn, how can you actually lose yourself?? Ok, maybe if you're 50++ year old senior citizen with loads of things and experience you lug around, then perhaps you can say that you already know yourself, and that perhaps you've lost something you've once had in the past. But to actually look for something, shouldn't that something exist in the first place? Besides, if you spend all your time looking, you just very might miss that special once in a lifetime moment. And then you'll regret and spend the next 10 years of your life looking back for it...

Maybe I'm just a naive and inexperience youngster. Talking loads of crap. But hey, at least I am actually happy with myself, changing and evolving with the times, keeping myself updated. At least I am doing what I want, what I enjoy without compromising on personal beliefs and ethics. I was happy.. doesn't that count for something?



Okay, perhaps not everyone thinks the same way. After all, uniqueness is what makes this world such an interesting place to live in right? However, just because you think one way and I think another, it doesn't give you the right to try to make me conform. So what if I lack ambition? So what if I put higher values on other aspects of my life? let me emphasize.. MY LIFE.

That aside, I wouldn't say that i am totally mull headed. Stubborn perhaps, but not that stupid (at least most of the time anyway). But what really gets to me is the WAY you talk. Maybe just a change in tone, or perhaps a random gesture. Maybe I'm just more sensitive to these things compared to you, but at the end of the day, how you say it as much as what you say matters. And you make me sad. And angry. And not very happy. Which if you haven't figured it out, is BAD.



I feel so stressed at home sometimes I even considered using this (below). except that when i think back about it, i'm glad i didn't seeing as I'd probably have to pay for a new computer screen =\ which would be terrible seeing as i have barely enough to pay for my ice-cream, chocolate, smoothie, doughnuts and other-non-healthy food cravings which i seem to be getting so often these days. *sigh*



Okay, i'm whining again aren't I?

Nah.. I'm not that hardworking yet... and yes, you've guessed it. I'm way to pampered to actually survive on my own for now. LOL. But then again, this is my personal blog. therefore i have the right to whine.

*whine whine whine*

so there! hah!

gawd.. now i sound like some attention deprived puppy -_____-

*i'm updating about everything except what i am supposed to. blame all these stupid assignments! =P keep checking back, and you might just see it posted one fine day...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

u definitely do have the right to vent those frustration. Not juz youngster has it, even old lady like me do have such thots! Cool down and think.. quite hard at times! Think on the brighter side? well, only if u r a saint or something.

urm, is me lah... peppersalt!

貞霖 said...

where hv u been these days????
i didnt see u for a super long time!